The hills are alive with the sound of silence 07/21

I woke up and experienced the grandeur and mystery of the Devils Tower. Having seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind, the thought of aliens landing there didn’t seem to obtuse. It’s a giant rock that juts out of the valley for apparently no reason. There are no surrounding mountains, no hills, no sign that a lined monolith is about to appear as if it ruptured straight out of the bowels of the earth. It was definitely a sight to behold.

Down the road from my campsite I stopped at a prairie dog camp, or whatever you call a collection of prairie dogs. They’re much smaller than I anticipated, and their “bark” was more of a cute, excited yelp. I watched them run around and pop out of holes for about 20 minutes before I decided to get out of the park before I was recognized and forced to pay for my campsite.

Next I made my way over to the Big Horn Mountains. Unlike the Appalachians, which once you’re in them, its hard to tell that you’re actually in a mountain range aside from the high graded roads, these mountains allowed you to feel powerful. From 10,000 feet up you can see the basin floor with all of its rivers, hills, and roads. The best part about these mountains was that there were very few people passing through them, so for most of the time I had the view all to myself. The solitude it afforded me along with the simple beauty of my surroundings made me never want to leave. I could see so far, the atmosphere blurred the features of the horizon. I could see shadows on the ground from the sun falling over the clouds. Even though it was a comfortable 75 degrees, there were still patches of snow that dotted the mountainsides, separating the fields of grass and rock that otherwise populated the mountains.

At one point, towards the middle of the range, I pulled into one of the many vista points to get a better view than driving in my car would afford me. The vista point was labeled as 9430 feet above sea level. In front of me was a steep drop-off that led to a large piece of the mountain oddly shaped like a grassy Pride Rock from the Lion King. Behind me was the rest of the mountain. I decided to climb the rest of the way up, to the very summit. From the vista point, the climb didn’t look that difficult. However, once I started up the mountain, it became clear to me that my vision deceived me.

I forgot to factor in that I was almost 10,000 feet above sea level, and there wasn’t as much oxygen to be had for climbing. That on top of the nearly steady 45 degree climb for the first few hundred feet surprised my lungs. A few hundred feet above my car, someone had assembled a large pile of rocks about 4.5 feet tall. It was wide at the base and got skinnier towards the top. I heard a lot of buzzing and thought maybe some bees made the rock pile their home, so I snapped a quick pic and continued the rest of the way up the mountain.

After the rock pile, the mountain took on a more gentle slope. The rise was about 20 degrees instead of 45, but it made up for the discrepancy in length. From my car to the top of the mountain where I stopped took me about 30 minutes, with a few small 1 minute breathers along the way. I’m not entirely sure what the actual height was that I stopped at, but I like to think it was 10,000 feet. I felt like I had definitely climbed up 600 feet, plus there was a pole parking the summit. On the pole there was a rusted plate, where other travelers etched their names in to declare that they, too, conquered the mountain. I etched in “BELVEDERE”, turned around, and made my way back down the mountain towards my car.

After an accidental minor detour down the wrong face of the mountain, I walked the 300 yards down the road back to my car. I then made way over the Medicine Wheel, an old Indian sacred healing place. It’s an 80 foot diameter wheel with spokes, made entirely out of limestone from the mountains. Although not too impressive on its own, the history behind it and its location made it worth the trek. Also, I met some nice ladies from Montana on the walk from the parking area to the wheel. I say met, but we were never really properly introduced. They were in their late 40s, travelling on a day trip to the mountains with their mother from Montana. They had some fun stories to pass the time, and we even had an impromptu snowball fight on Medicine Mountain. They told me when I wrote about them to refer to them as my “sisters from Montana.” And so they are.

There were some rocks jutting up from the side of the mountain next to the medicine wheel, and I hopped out on to them (carefully, as it was a few hundred feet the next highest point below me), and tried to read some of by book. However, there were too many damn flies to allow me the peace required for concentrated reading. The flies were the biggest I’d ever seen, rivaling the size of bumblebees. At first I thought they were bumblebees, which made me freak out whenever one would land on or near me. I didn’t want to get stung and have a knee jerk reaction that would throw me off the face of the mountain, so I (carefully) hopped back to safety and walked back to my car.

I was going to spend the night in Yellowstone, but all the camping spots were taken up by 2, and it was already 6 when I called. So I stayed in Cody, Wyoming for the night, where apparently they have a nightly rodeo all summer long. I didn’t want to fork over the money for it, so I didn’t go, but the town was crowded enough with tourists that I’m guessing the one ticket I didn’t buy was bought by someone else.

Overall it was a fantastic day. The mystery of the Devils Tower and the quirky prairie dogs started the day off. I loved the solitude and serenity the Big Horn Mountains provided, and my little snowball fight with my new sisters from Montana added a fun twist to the day. Days like this were what my trip was all about.

Deadly breakfasts, giant monuments, and the police 07/20

What an eventful day. I woke up and decided to eat at the 50’s style diner next to the hotel I was at. I had the breakfast of death, consisting of chicken fried steak smothered in gravy, greasy hashbrowns, biscuits and gravy, and toast. I ate everything but the last 30 percent of my chicken fried steak, which was the biggest one I’d ever seen. I felt like my blood had turned into gravy by the time I finally stopped eating.

I noticed during my meal that my right fender on my trailer had come off. My first instinct was that someone stole it, since I didn’t remember it being loose. On top of that, the other fender wasn’t loose at all, making it curious that only one of them would rattle loose from driving and come off. I did find it weird that someone would only steal one fender though. Come to find out the next day that my right side tail light was bent a bit, as if something hit it with tremendous force. Something like a trailer fender going 55 miles an hour, for instance. So that solved that mystery.

Anyway, after my nearly heart stopping breakfast, I finally made it to Mt. Rushmore. For all of the hype surrounding it, I thought it would be more impressive. That seems to be a recurring theme on this trip. So many national monuments that have been so hyped up by years of hearing about them, there wasn’t any way that the actual monuments could ever be as great as I built them up to be in my head. That being said, Mt. Rushmore was still quite a site. I thought the busts would take up more of the mountain, but a 60 foot head is nothing to go unnoticed, especially not 4 of them in a row. I read about 60 pages of “The Holographic Universe” in the amphitheater at the bottom of the mountain before deciding to move on to Crazy Horse down the road.

Crazy Horse as of my viewing wasn’t too impressive. It was basically a giant face and a whole lot of rubble. I thought it would be more complete, seeing as how they’ve been working on it since the mid 30’s. I was unaware that it was all privately funded though, to keep with the idea of free enterprise and the idea of Native American independence from the US government. So with that in mind, it was very impressive. I’m sure carving a mountain isn’t cheap. Whenever it is complete though, it’s going to kick Mt. Rushmore’s ass as far as overall size and intensity goes. Whenever it’s complete it’ll be taller than the Washington Monument in DC. They had a picture of what it’ll look like when it’s done, and I was more excited just at the thought of seeing the complete thing than I was seeing Mt. Rushmore already being complete.

After Crazy Horse I started making my way to the Devils Tower in Wyoming. I stopped in a small town about 40 minutes from the tower to hijack an internet connection and upload about 150 pictures. To give you an idea of how small this town was, the Best Western I stopped at was right next to a double wide trailer, and the only other thing in sight was a gas station and “home style cookin” restaurant. In fact, a deer wandered out of the woods next to the parking lot I was in at one point.

Anyway, I lost track of time, thinking I had only been hanging out for about 30 minutes, when it was really more like 2 hours and 30 minutes. I guess the owners got spooked and called the cops, saying something like a greasy bearded guy had been sitting in the parking lot for a few hours. The cop hassled me about using the internet without asking and tried to give me some bullshit about not parking within the yellow stripes, whenever I obviously have a trailer on the back of my car and would poke out into the middle isle if I were to park that way. He tried to scare me by being the “badass” cop, and asked me why he shouldn’t charge me with theft for using the internet without permission. I played the scared, stupid, and innocent teenager to play into his hands. He settled on just telling me to get off the property and that he didn’t want to see me “using that damn computer” anywhere else around town.

So I left and drove the rest of the way to the Devils Tower. I happened to get the last available spot, so that was lucky. All of the sites were primitive, so I couldn’t charge my battery more or even take a shower, so I decided I wasn’t going to pay in the morning.

The country really IS made out of corn 07/18 and 07/19

Almost nothing happened on the 18^th. I just drove. I drove 520 miles from where I was in Iowa to Mitchell, South Dakota. My right side headlight burnt out and my left side headlight was working intermittently when it got to be night time, so I drove part of the way using my brights.

On the 19^th I saw the Corn Palace in Mitchell. This further affirmed my suspicion that America has an obsession with corn. The entire building was decorated with corn. Very well decorated, too. There were big frescos of wild west and Native American scenes made entirely out of corn cobs. Quirky, to say the least. Quirky, and free. Love the free stuff.

I bought a new headlight for my right side, only to find out my headlight woes were not over. Apparently there is a wiring issue on that side, so even though the bulb is new, it still won’t light up. I still haven’t figured out where the short is, and it’s the 27^th as of this writing. However, I did get my left side headlight to work all the time, so I can drive at night without too much issue.

Anyway, I hopped back on the road towards Mt. Rushmore. I stopped at a recreation of a town in 1880 so creatively entitled “1880 Town.” It would have been much cooler if it was a working representation, or even if some of the buildings weren’t run down and poorly taken care of. It was a nice place to stretch the legs, but not much more if you ask me.

Also on the 19^th I stopped at what my travel book proclaimed was the “famous Wall Drug Store in Wall, SD.” It seemed to live up to that name, for the drug store was more of a shopping center, full of cowboy gift shops and overpriced tourist trinkets and as many travelling fanny pack wearers and motorcycle gangs as it could fit. At least I can say I’ve seen it.

I made it most of the rest of the way to Mt. Rushmore, sleeping outside of a Days Inn about a 45 minute drive from the monument.

Solo castlebuilding 101: build next to lots of rocks 07/17

My gamble paid off. I woke up at 7:00 am and was out of the park by 7:15, with no ranger in sight. I looked at both of my travel books to see if there was anything to see in Ohio close to my route and the only thing that struck my fancy was the Rock Castle. I showered at a truck stop and started heading towards the castle.

Chateau Le Roche, as it’s formally called, was impressive. More so than any normal castle because 99% of it was done by one man over the course of almost 60 years. This guy started building the castle in 1930 and kept going until he died in 1989. It has 20 rooms, a big garden, a dungeon, and even a princess tower. There were lots of medieval memorabilia like suits of armor, swords, and period furniture. Pretty cool place to see if you ever get the chance.

After the castle, I kept on my way to Mt. Rushmore. I passed through the rest of Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois before bunking down just on the other side of the Iowa border, right next to the Mississippi.

Use your inside voice? 07/16

I woke up about 10 30 and started making my way towards Fallingwater. It should have only taken me an hour to get there, but I got stuck behind a super slow minivan that decided to go 20 miles under the speed limit. I arrived at noon, well before my 12 30 appointment. I went to the desk to tell them I had arrived, and to see if maybe something sooner was available. They said, yes, actually, we can fit you in on the next tour that leaves in 3 minutes. I said that would be fantastic.

I walked down the pathway from the visitor center to the house, which was about a 5 minute walk. I chit chatted with the tour guide for a few minutes waiting for everyone else on the tour to make their way to the house. Once everyone was there, we got underway.

Overall I am very glad I waited the extra day to tour the house. It fits right in with its surroundings of woods and water, with intermittent plots of stone here and there. The first part of the house we viewed was the dining room/living room area. It was constructed in such a way as to make you feel like you were outside, even though you were definitely inside the house. Glass made up most of the walls, with stone quarried on site for the floor and wooden accents to match the color of the bark outside. Steps led down to a nice grotto area via a retractable horizontal glass doorway. It was all very impressive.

The rest of the house wasn’t quite as impressive as that first area, but was in no way boring. Tiny hallways burst into large rooms which burst into even larger verandas. Some of the furniture was built right into the wall and cantilevered out, so things like couches didn’t require legs. A very nice stop along my trip, to be sure.

After the tour I started heading towards Mt. Rushmore. I stopped at a state park in Ohio to sleep, shower, and charge my battery. I took a gamble and didn’t pay for my spot, thinking I would just leave early in the morning before the ranger came around and noticed I was there. I hooked up my battery, but not before noticing this particular park didn’t have showers. I let it go, feeling getting my battery at least part of the way charged for free was good enough.

Uphill both ways to recharge for movie day 07/15

I woke up with the intention of going to Advanced Auto Parts down the road from where I was, but when I went to start my car, nothing happened. No noises like the car might even be trying to start. I then noticed both my odometer and clock were off. I concluded my battery must be just completely dead. I hooked up my dinky battery charger for about 30 minutes to see if it would charge it enough just so I could start it and go get a new battery somewhere. It couldn’t. No one else was around to give me a jump, so I walked about a half a mile to a Wal-Mart, got a new battery, and carted it back to my car.

It took me a bit longer to install the battery than it should have because one of the things that holds my battery in place was being stubborn and wouldn’t go back on after I put the new battery in. It took me about 20 minutes from unhooking the first battery to finish installing the second one. I got in my car, and my clock and odometer was back on. I took this as a good sign, cranked her up, and vroom, she started! Since then I haven’t had any battery issues (I’m writing this on the 24^th).

My original plan for the day was to go see Fallingwater, one of the most architecturally beautiful and significant houses in America, early in the day and then get in a good deal of driving. However, by the end of my battery ordeal it was already 130. I called Fallingwater to see if they had any tours left for the day, but was told that they are closed to the public on Wednesdays. I was aggravated to be sure, since there wasn’t anything else to do around where I was. I decided to stick around for a day and made an appointment for the next day at 12:30.

Seeing as how there wasn’t anything else to do around where I was, I had to expand my search. I decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to go see some movies. I drove for 45 minutes to a theater in the suburbs of Pittsburg and saw Ice Age, My Sister’s Keeper, Harry Potter, and I Love You Beth Cooper. I chose the most perfect theater possible for sneaking from movie to movie. The theaters all branched off of a central U shape, with the lobby at the top of the U. That means in order to get to a theater on the other side of the complex, I didn’t have to blatantly cruise through the middle where everyone was, I could just walk around behind the lobby. It was fantastic.

Ice Age, Harry Potter, and Beth Cooper were all great movies. My Sister’s Keeper was fairly mediocre. On the whole, it was a great choice of movies, and a great way to spend my day. It never ceases to amaze me how much I love spending all day at the movies.

Anyway, by the end of Beth Cooper it was 12:30 am, so I found a parking lot to crash, and did so.

I didn't even know they could do that! 07/14

Today was a problem day. First, let me mention that somewhere between Toronto and Niagara Falls, I goofed my back left tire somehow. I ran over some glass, or hit a weird pothole, or something. Whatever I hit, it tore up my tire. The tread literally just came off of some parts of the tire. However, the ripping and tearing didn't go deep, so my tube wasn't punctured. This made for a very bumpy ride.

I woke up in Buffalo, New York and went to a Wal Mart to get a new tire. After fees, they wanted nearly 100 dollars! I thought that was outrageous, and the guy behind the counter recommended a used tire place down the road. I went there, got an almost new used tire put on and balanced for 45 bucks. My front left tire also had 2 nails in it and had been leaking slowly since about a month before I left. I had the guy fix that too for another 10 bucks. So I got my tire issues straight for 55 dollars, considerably cheaper than what Wal Mart wanted.

I went to Home Depot to get some aluminum flashing to try and cover up the front corners of my camper where the caulk was splitting. Long story short, it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to. I put flashing on the front corners, but couldn't get it to go along the front wall, so I just put some super glue in the cracks, hoping that would keep the rain out. Interestingly, I needed someone to jump my car from the Home Depot. I thought it was maybe because I had had my trunk open for the entire hour span of time I had been trying to do the aluminum thing.

As I made my way southward to Fallingwater in Mill Run, PA, I was noticing a putrid smell. At first I attributed it to the big tanker in front of me for the first few hours. Then whenever I got out from behind him, I attributed the smell to the nuclear power plant I was passing. After I passed through Punxsutawney (where Phil the Groudhog determines when spring will come), I needed some gas. I was in a town that had a plant of some kind, so I figured the smell now belonged to that plant.

But whenever I stepped out of my car, I noticed smoke coming from under my hood. I thought, not good. I opened my hood, and my battery was steaming. I wasn't even aware batteries could do that. After a call to my Dad, he said if I just put water in it, I should be fine. I hadn't ever checked the water levels in it in the 2 years since I've had the car, so it was feasible that it had just run out of water. Almost all 6 cells were completely dry. I filled up up with water, filled my car up with gas, and started to head towards Fallingwater again.

I holed up in a Super 8 motel lot about 15 minutes outside of Mill Run. A better estimate of where I was is that I was about 60 minutes southeast of Pittsburgh. My battery was smoking again when I pulled in. So much for filling it up and being fine. I filled the cells with water again before going to bed, thinking I would just drive down to Advance Auto Parts in the morning and get them to look at it. Right then I was tired from a long day of driving and car problems, and slept well.

What is this? You sleep in that? I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle, sir. 07/12 and 13

The 12th was fairly pretty uneventful. After I finished driving along Lake Superior, the rest of Canada was pretty bland. Lots of small hills, lots of grass, lots of really old houses, nothing really exciting. I drove another 412 miles to the outskirts of Toronto and hunkered down until morning.

The 13th was my last day in Canada. It took me nearly 4 hours to get the 90 miles from where I slept to Niagara Falls. Most of this was due to heavy traffic delays for apparently no reason, but part about 30 minutes of it was spent at the Legends Estates Winery. I stopped off for a tour, but they weren't giving any that day, so I just settled for a tasting.

The girl who was giving me the samples was very knowledgeable about the wines there. I tried 2 white wines, 3 red wines, and a dessert ice wine. I felt mildly special because my 5 Canadian dollars was only supposed to let me try 2 white and 2 reds, so I got a bit extra. I probably could have had more, but I still had to drive the rest of the way to Niagara. As it turns out, I'm not a big wine fan. Although I did like the whites better than the reds. The ice wine was super sweet (hence being a dessert wine) and rather good, but only in very small quantities.

I then made my way to Niagara Falls. The rumors are true, that the falls are much more impressive from the Canadian side. Although the falls were gorgeous, I expected them to be much taller than they were. The way I had it pictured in my head, they were at least 100 feet taller. Again, the roaring falls cascading over the rocks and shooting mist higher than the falls themselves was no sight to joke about, but I guess I just had it built up too much in my mind.

After a few quick pics and some additional introspective lingering, I strolled on down to the casino. I spent the next 2 hours losing 2 dollars. I had 10 dollars left to spend, and the minimum to play poker was 35. I settled for the slots, and had myself a grand ol' time. A nice old lady also instructed me on some of the finer points of deuces wild video poker. I was up 3 dollars at one point, but I quickly lost my gain. After it was clear that was going to be my only winning streak of the day, I quit with 8 dollars left in my pocket.

Seeing as how the rest of Niagara Falls was just one big tourist trap after another, I decided it was time to go back to America where half of everyone was overweight and gas wasn't so damn expensive. I must say that while I was in Canada, I barely noticed any overweight people, let alone any obese ones. Almost everyone was skinny. It was a bit weird going into a Wendy's and everyone being the same (almost) the same size as me.

Anyway, back to America. As I spent an agonizingly long time in line, I finally had my turn with the border guard. I handed him my Canadian visitor's pass they gave me when I crossed into Canada, along with my driver's license. Apparently those visitors passes are very rare, and I didn't realize how lucky I was to receive one until I tried to get back into the US. The border guard had never seen one before, not even heard of them. He thought I forged some random ass document that didn't even exist. He called over his supervisor, who also had never seen one before. But the supervisor said he did recall hearing about something like a visitors pass existing, but couldn't recollect exactly what they were or what they looked like.

I guess it was about to be the end of a shift, because they passed me through. But not before spending 30 minutes looking through all my stuff. They didn't want to spend the extra time or effort interrogating me inside, so they waved me through. The guard and his supervisor were dumbfounded that I travelled all the way from Louisiana and slept in the camper that I have. They couldn't wrap their heads around how anyone would want to sleep in anything so small on purpose.

So after a fairly eventful day, I was back in America. I made a much needed stop by Taco Bell before finding a parking lot for the night. I didn't see a single Taco Bell in Canada, and I was jonesin for a burrito. I love America.

Hearing "aboot" is never not funny 07/11

Today consisted of driving. A lot, a lot, of driving. 576 miles of it to be precise. That means I’ve now driven 3,202 miles in only 10 days.

I stopped today at one point to ask where I could find a donut shop, and the beady-eyed guy said in a stereotypical Canadian accent, “There’s one aboot 2 kilometers back that way.” I had to suppress a laugh that leaped into my throat. It goes to show, there’s a reason there are stereotypes.

I spent basically the entire journey on either King’s Highway 11 or 17. Almost the entire journey was going through absolutely gorgeous country. The road cut through mountains with jagged rocks showing through where they cut into the mountain to lay down the road. Sometimes the rocks would be 80 feet tall and jutted out in all different directions. They ranged in color from a light brown to jet black, with splashes of dark greens and blues sometimes as well. Just amazing sights.

However, where I saw beauty, others seemed to ad space. But not commercial ad space, more of a personal nature. Graffiti began to run rampant the closer I got to a town, but once I moved away from a town, the rocks were blank, as they should be. I can’t imagine the type of person who would just deface such natural beauty on a whim, just to let the world know that “Chris hearts Jenny” or that “Tinz waz here.” The more I saw, the more I hated it.

Further on down the road, I ran into Lake Superior. It was getting to be about 6 o’clock, with the sun beginning its downward journey. The many twists and turns in the road allowed for multiple views of the steep cliffs, small beaches, and alcoves all around the lake. The sun was glinting off the water, shooting sparkles across the lake making it seem as if the tips of the waves were studded with diamonds. Once sunset officially began, I pulled into one of the many, many scenic lookouts that were available and waited for darkness. The only clouds in the sky were right off the horizon, just were the sun was going down. It was like they were meant to be there to exaggerate the colors of the sunset, and to give the sky more hue.

The sun set into the water, illuminating the sky with pinks, purples, oranges, and reds. The wispy clouds seemed almost painted onto the sky. Because I was on a mountain top, whenever I saw the sun go down over the horizon, it still hadn’t finished lighting up the sky. The piece of atmosphere that it went down in stayed at a near twilight stage for the next 30 minutes, the colors becoming darker shades of their former selves. Just before it all went dark and the stars poked through the dark blanket of night, the clouds were and almost eerie shade of dark purple.

I looked up and was confronted with the brightest pinpricks of stars I’d ever seen, even brighter than in the mountains of Tennessee. In the city, where you have to work to see any stars at all, the big dipper is a happy thing to find. Once you find it, a shock of excitement goes through you, as you finally spot something you recognize. However, in the mountains (or I guess more technically hills) of Canada, the big dipper is almost a slap in the face. It’s hard to look at anything else. I stayed on the hood of my car as long as my cold toes could bear it before returning to the warmth of my vehicle. I can only take stargazing for so long whenever I’m doing it in 48 degree weather.

Oh, also, I came across a dead black bear in the middle of the highway. There were already 3 cars and an 18 wheeler parked near it and people gathered all around, so I didn't want to stop and cause more congestion. I didn't notice any of their front ends being damaged, so if someone did hit the bear, they must have run off. It was weird because that was the first time I'd ever seen road kill bigger than an armadillo, and also the first time I'd ever seen a bear in person.

Today made all the money I’m spending on gas and the time I’m spending in Canada worth all of it. I hope to see more days like this one, and think I will find them in the Rockies. But first, the roar of Niagara calls me closer. Goodnight.

But Canada's only two hours away! 07/10

I woke up around 9:15, showered, and started packing to leave. Around 10 am, one of the state troopers came over and said that I wasn’t on his list and I needed to go pay before I left. I said ok, finished packing, and headed for the exit.

Turns out Minnesota State Parks are not very good deals. The park I stayed in was pretty underwhelming as far as cleanliness and overall “wow” factor. It was 24 dollars for the lot I was in because it had electricity. That would be outrageous enough for a state park, but on top of that, I had to buy a day pass for my car (even though I was only camping), which was another 5 dollars. I paid 29 dollars for an 8 hour stay! I could have stayed in a crappy hotel for a few dollars more and been a bit more comfortable. The moral is, don’t stay in Minnesota State Parks.

After leaving the park, I made my way up to Soudan, MN, so I could finally go see the physics lab which drew me up that far in the first place. I pulled up about 1:30, paid to see both the underground mine and the physics lab ($10 a piece for the tours), and waited for 2 pm to roll around for the first tour to start.

At 2, they ushered the tour group into a room to watch a short video about the history of the mine, and how it was apparently “the Cadillac of underground mines.” We then were all smashed into a small elevator that brought us down half a mile under the surface. The worst part of the day was when some redneck looking gentleman decided he wanted to smack his gum loudly in the crowded, tiny elevator for the entire 5 minute long journey underground. I can understand the want to keep your ears comfortable by chewing when the pressure around you is changing, but smacking is not the way to do it. It was as if I was literally being lowered down into hell.

Anyway, it got to be very cold that far down (about 50 degrees, very not hell-like), and I was glad I brought my heavy jacket with me. I saw some numskull kids wearing shorts and a t-shirt with a light windbreaker, like they were about to take a stroll on the beach in late April. I’m sure they regretted it once they got down there.

Overall, the mine tour was very interesting. We were shown what working conditions were like (sort of) first hand, and it was a very impressive mine. The chamber we were in was more reminiscent of a cavern than a mine. The way the mountain is, no timber was needed to support the roof or the walls from caving in, so they miners just dug out huge expanses at a time.

After that the physics tour came around at 4. I already knew the information the tour guide was giving me from what I’ve read about the subject in books and online, so the excitement of learning new information wasn’t there. The tour guide tried to make a few jokes, some of which were funny, and some the crown just didn’t appreciate, but overall it was a good experience. The main reason for going was to be there in person where they were doing all this research, so my mission was accomplished.

I looked on my map to see where to go next, and noticed the Canadian border was only 2 hours away. I thought, “Eh, why the hell not go take a picture of Canada?” Since I didn’t have a passport with me, I wasn’t planning on going to Canada, but just go take a picture of it from across the way. I pulled into International Falls, MN about 9 pm, and had another, “why the hell not” moment and decided to try to get into Canada anyway, sans passport. I paid my 10 dollar toll to cross the bridge and spent the next hour being interrogated by customs officials while they looked through all my stuff. They didn’t really like that I didn’t have a passport, or even a birth certificate, to prove my citizenship. All I had was a whim and my driver’s license.

Apparently that was good enough though. After a stern talking to from the official about the importance of having a passport, she allowed me entrance into Canada. She gave me what can best be described as a visitor’s pass to Canada. I have 2 weeks before I have to get out. If I’m not out of Canada by 12 am on July 25, a warrant will go out for me as a fugitive and I will be subject to arrest.

Surprisingly, my Capital One debit card didn’t work when I first got to Canada. I filled my car up with gas, went to pay the attendant, but they said my card was declined. I said it shouldn’t be, it has money on it. They informed me that sometime cards from America don’t work in Canada. This was very distressing as I only had 2 dollars in cash, and no other way to pay for the gas, much less anything else, besides using my card. After about 35 minutes of worrying and a bit of walking to the grocery store down the road, it was suggested that I might just have to have authorization from Capital One for my card to work in Canada. I called the 800 number on the back, spoke to a representative, and insto-chango, my card worked! Crisis averted. So just a word to the wise, if your going to a foreign country, even Canada, call your credit card company before you go to get them to authorize use in that country,

Canada so far has been like America, just not as good. Everything is in liters and km/h, plus there’s that tiny but noticeable exchange rate. The cheapest gas I’ve seen has been 1.00/liter (or about 3.50/gallon), and everything is about 16 percent more than it should be (because of that $1.16 Canadian to $1.00 US thing they have). There’s also a tiny bit of figuring that goes in to how far away everything is, since all the signs are in kilometers. I also have to remember that all the speed limit signs are in km/h, and its not appropriate to go 60 mph where it says 60 kmh (there’s about a 20 mph difference).

So now I’m sitting in a Tim Horton’s parking lot typing all this out.

Tim Horton’s is a weird mix of things. It’s part Subway, part CC’s, and part donut shop. Anyway, I’ve decided that since I’m in Canada, I’m going to go 800 miles in the wrong direction to go see Niagara Falls. It’s supposed to be more impressive from the Canadian side, and I missed it when I was in New York on my last trip, so I figure, “why the hell not?”

Minneapolis, the real city of brotherly love 07/09

I woke up around 10:30, read a bit of my Star Wars book, and headed to Taco Bell to start the day off right. I was thinking of going to the physics lab today, but I woke up too late. The last tour would have started before I would be able to get there. I called my mom to see if her friend in Minneapolis was still willing to show me around the Guthrie theater. She said yes, so I met him (Russell Johnson, Project Stage Manager) at the theater at 230. He gave me a backstage tour to the theater, showing me everything from the lobby to the set design area to the administrative offices. Everything was very modern looking, and it seemed that no expense was spared to make it the best.

One of the cool features of the theater is that there is fiber optic cable throughout the entire place. That means they can have a 3 piece band playing in the lobby, and send that sound into one of the theater rooms if they felt like it. They can apparently take any sound from any room and put it into another room.

At the end of the tour, I asked if there were any shows going on tonight. Russell said yes, and he was very nice and gave me a free ticket to “When We Are Married.” It was only 3:15, and the show didn’t start until 7:30, so I went looking for something to do to kill some time.

I settled on going to Home Depot to buy some aluminum to try and fix my camper up a bit. They way I built my camper with the soft top, wind kept on pushing into the gaps between my cross members, and I thought that was responsible for some of my loss of mileage. I thought smoothing out that area with some aluminum under the top would fix it. Long story short, it doesn’t.

However, while I was putting the aluminum on in the Home Depot parking lot, no less than 10 people came up to compliment me on it. We talked for various amounts of time on various topics, but they were all super nice people. I was very impressed with Minneapolis folk.

I went back to the Guthrie, saw the show (which was very well done), and then headed north towards Soudan and the physics lab there. Oh, due to a parking machine error and a very nice attendant at the lot, I got to park for free for the show as well.

I pulled in to St. Croix State Park about 2 am. I needed to stay in a park so I could recharge my almost dead battery. I couldn’t figure out how much to leave for the night, so I just figured I’d do it in the morning (if I had to). But just then I was tired and all I wanted to do was sleep, so I didn’t worry about it anymore.

3 floors of stores and a mini roller coaster make for an awkward time at the mall 07/08

Jolly green giant was very giantlike. Not really a lot else in blue earth besides that. And corn. I don’t think I’ve gone a single rural mile since st louis without seeing at least a little bit of corn. It’s like we could feed the world off of the corn I’ve seen.

I got to the Mall of America around 6ish and walked around for about 3 hours. As far as being the biggest mall in America, I can believe it. It even had two of some stores to save you the 10 minute walk to the other side of the mall. I noticed two of the following: American Eagle, Fossil, Abercrombie and Fitch, the Disney store, and Express.

The theme park in the middle was Nickelodeon themed, and was very interesting. However, since I lacked the company of someone 12 or under, I didn’t ride any of the 20 or so rides they had (including a roller coaster…in the mall!). I’d venture to say that 60-70 percent of the third floor was a food court. They had everything ranging from Taco Bell to a super fancy restaurant with 15 dollar appetizers.

I had the pleasure of being part of an awkward sexual joke while at the mall. I went in to a game store (like, board games and such) just to poke around. The girl behind the counter said she liked my jacket (my Star Wars one). Her bizarre looking male co-worker, having hair evoking memories of Sideshow Bob’s (from the Simpson’s), said, “Ya, that’s because she wants to dress up like a stormtrooper.”

He said this like it was a bad thing, but it definitely piqued my interest. I for one would love to have my own personal Mandalorian armor, so I can see the draw in having a Star Wars style costume. As I was about to remark on the subject, Sideshow Bob noticed that the front of my jacket had an AT-AT driver on it. He said, “Ah, speaking of stormtroopers…”

I, of course, showed him his folly. The girl behind the counter was quick to back me up. Sideshow Bob then said, “Oh well its all the same.” Then he turned to the girl and suggestively said, “I’d bet you’d like to drive something.” Then there was a very long awkward moment where she didn’t know what to say and I didn’t know how to respond to being the butt of a sexual joke (no pun intended). Sideshow Bob was pleased with his little joke and turned, smirking, in the opposite direction.

The silence was finally broken when the girl said, “But ya, cool jacket.” I said thanks, and then walked out of the store, not really knowing what else to do, or if would have even been appropriate to stay.

After the mall, installed some curtains in my camper. And by installed, I mean I Velcroed some green fabric to the wall to cover up where my vent/fan allows people to peep in.

I then tried to secure lodging for the night. My battery was running low and needed to be recharged, so I tried searching for a nearby state or national park. The nearest one was 45 minutes away, so I just went to that one. I should have taken more time to look at the website, because the one I went to (Afton State Park), did not have sites available for campers or RVs. Only tents. Luckily, or so I thought, there was a piece of paper noting that there was camping available for RVs and trailers about 4 miles down the road at St. Croix Regional Park. I happily went down the 4 miles, only to be confronted with a gate.

A GATE! At a camping park! Who ever heard of such a thing? This thing was high tech with it’s keypad staring me in the face, taunting me because I didn’t know the access code. I tried about 7 different things before it started making a constant, loud, highly irritating beep for the next 30 seconds. I gave up, frustrated, and decided my battery would have to wait another day to be charged. I pulled in to the closest hotel parking lot and conked out.

But it wasn't a rock, it was a rock...house? 07/07

I woke up around 10 am and headed to the truck stop across the street from the Holiday Inn parking lot I slept in. I asked how much for a shower. The cashier’s words were like a hefty punch in the shoulder. “Ten dollars.”

TEN DOLLARS! For a shower?! Ridiculous. I let the cashier know my sentiments on the situation, and was told to “Hold on a sec.” I obliged and waited for her to come back from wherever it was she went. Whenever she returned, she said her boss said she could give me a shower for free, since I looked like I needed one and I wasn’t a trucker. I happily accepted and showered for the first time in 5 days.

You would think truck stop showers are nasty and gross. Now, I can’t speak for the rest of them, but this was a mighty nice showering area. It had a sink, a toilet, a mirror, and then a separate shower area. It was very hotel-like in its setup and cleanliness.

I left my sleeping place in Janesville, ws, fully refreshed and newly showered, and headed to the Rock house. It was one of the kitsch attractions in my book the Great American road trip. It was supposed to be this architecturally significant house built into the cliff, meaning the rocky cliff of the mountain it was on formed various parts of the house. This was by far one of the creepiest places I’ve ever been too. Most of the ceiling were really low (in the neighborhood of 5’5” to 5’11”, so I had to duck through a lot of it. It had narrow hallways and really bizarre Chinese artwork everywhere. It wasn’t a busy day for them either, because I was walking around a lot of it by myself. It’s the quintessential “DON’T GO AROUND THAT CORNER BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GOING TO JUMP OUT AND KILL YOU” house.

On the upside, it did have a mildly cool room called the infinity room, which made use of perspective to make it seem like it went on forever. Then there were tons of various types of collections. Collections included dollhouses, knight armour, civil war weapons, odd pistols and rifles, model ships, and a replica of a 19^th century market street. The house on the rock is also home to the largest carousal in the world. A lot of it was weird and creepy, but a lot of it was also very cool.

The book describes it perfectly as “at once wacky, tacky, innovative, and elegant.”

I also tried to go see Forevertron, the biggest sculpture in the word. It’s made out of 400 tons of scrap and is made to look like a Victorian depiction of the far future. However, it is apparently closed on Tuesdays and wedesdays, so the best I could do was get a far away picture from the gate of its main part.

Now I’m on my way to see the jolly green giant in blue earth, Minnesota before going to Minneapolis. Goodnight.

103 floors of nothing but air 07/06

I left St. Louis in the morning and headed straight for Chicago. Turns out the only thing between st louis and Chicago is corn. A few hundred miles worth, on either side of the road. Made me constantly think of kidd kraddick saying “EAT SOME CORN!”

Parking is ridiculous. Sears tower wanted 31 dollars each for more than 6 hours for my car and my trailer. Knowing there had to be something at least less outrageous if not cheap close by, I went on the prowl. 7 parking garages and some fancy backwards maneuvering on my part, I found a flat lot a block from the sears tower. The attendant liked my camper and said he wouldn’t charge me for it because it was so cool. Bonus number 1. Bonus number 2 was that it was past 3, which meant the rate went down from 17 dollars to 10 dollars.

So from 62 dollars in one place, to right down the block was 10. Great deal.

Anyway, I went to the sears tower, stood in multiple versions of the same line, but it was pretty cool. 15 dollars seemed a bit heavy for admission to the sky deck, but once I got up there I didn’t really worry about it. I tried the new glass floor extension they have which is a glass room that extends 4 feet past the main building so you can look straight down 103 floors. That was a lot of fun.

I then walked from there to the beach, which had to have been at least a mile. I walked up and down Michigan street, where all the “happenin” stuff was supposed to go down, but since it was Monday, nothing was going on. I walked back to my car and set my destination for the suburbs to try and find a good internet connection. I found one, and also a man named aldo.

Aldo complimented me on my camper, and we talked for about 2 hours about random stuff. He looked like a truck driver, but said he was on foot. I asked what he did and he said he was an inventor. We talked about politics, toll roads, travelling, and “green” tech. I left the burbs and was on my way to Wisconsin.

You cannot find me in St. Louis 07/05

This will be a rather short entry. The biggest part of today was hitting my first 1000 mile mark. That means in 4 days of traveling, I've already driven over 1000 miles. If that rate keeps up (250 miles/day) then I am looking at driving more than 10,000 miles in the six weeks I'll be gone. That is a hell of a lot of driving.

Anyway, I came to St. Louis, MO today to see the Gateway to the West. In short it was overpriced, overpopulated with angry tourists having to wait in a way too long line for a way too unimpressive view at the top. I drove all over St. Louis (well, not all over, but within a 15 mile radius) looking for a Taco Bell that was open in the dining area. I couldn't find a single one. I also never seemed to find the "good" part of town, so I'm staying in the best part of town I could find. Anyway, St. Louis was a bust, and Nelly hyped it up too much.

Tomorrow, Chicago! Goodnight.

Too many people, not enough brain cells 07/04

After sleeping wonderfully in the hotel parking lot, I went to the Clinton Presidential Library. My earlier assumption I made last Thanksgiving that American holidays bring out the non-white crown held up. I think I was one of the 15 white people in the entire 150,000 square foot facility that wasn't working there, and this place was packed. So packed, in fact, that I left rather quickly. I was only there for about an hour or so, because I couldn't even read all the plaques and information they had because of all the people constantly milling about and getting in the way.

On the bittersweet side of things, they did have a few space related items in the building (don't know what the space program has to do with Clinton, but who cares?). The highlight of the Library was a) getting in for free because it was the 4th, and b) riding the Multi Axis Trainer for free. The MAT is that thing with all the rings that spins you around ridiculously.

I felt rather embarrassed because I was one of 2 people in line over the age of 12, and the other one was a mom doing it to show her kid it was safe so he could do it. Everyone else had family or friends taking video of them rotating in circles, and I was lacking in that department. I made a quick excuse that my friends abandoned me and went to the gift shop while I did the MAT to try and ease some of the weird looks I was getting.

On the upside, the MAT was a freakin blast, and I didn't give a hoot or a holler that I was the only one who hooted and hollered while on it. All the little kids were surprisingly quiet when they had their turn, just showing some mild amusement with a smirk on their face. I sort of giggled a bit and made a lame joke about being glad I didn't have any change in my pocket when I rode.

Anyway, after that it was off to the Buffalo River to do some kayaking. I rented my 45 dollar (expensive, I know) kayak and was brought down to the river about 2 pm. They lady behind the counter who I rented the canoe from said it would take about 4 hours to complete the 6 mile trip I paid for. Not really thinking about it or seeing how the math didn't add up at all, I got all excited. A short hour and 15 minutes later (I'll save you the trouble: 5 mph), I was done.

It was disappointing to say the least that I spent so much money for so little time on the river. I realized my folly afterwards when I was told the original time frame I was given included stopping, swimming, fishing, picnicking, and other activities I did not partake in. However, the bus driver on the way back invited me back to his house to see a fireworks display. He said the whole town came out to watch. So I said I'd be there.

What this fellow (whose name is William Blake) failed to mention was that the town has a population of 33. Now, some people who were there had to be from out of town, because there were about 50 people there. Anyway, everyone there was very "small town" oriented. Non conversational with outsiders, kept giving me strange looks (because I wasn't a redneck mountain person and didn't have deer horns tattooed on my bicep), and kept to their own kind. I tried striking up conversations with a few people, but I kept on getting one word answers, more funny looks, or I was basically ignored.

William had been so nice and friendly when he invited me, I thought that's the way everyone would be. Apparently I was mistaken, and paid for it by feeling awkward for and hour and a half. However, the people of Gilbert, AR sure do know how to put on a fireworks display. They must have had about 2 grand worth of fireworks. They were brilliant and pretty, even though I caught a couple of them a little to close for comfort. "Allegedly" one of the fireworks malfunctioned and big explosions just started emanating from the tube it was in instead of flying high to explode. No damage was done except for a bit of white vision from the bright lights for a few moments after.

I left Gilbert and am now (well, not NOW NOW as of you reading this, but now as in I'm currently typing) stopped in some random town's Days Inn parking lot. I stopped here to determine where to go next, and will be headed up to St. Louis, MO to see the Gateway Arch before heading on over to Chicago the next day. Goodnight!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Too bad I lack a vagina. 07/03

I woke up well rested around 10 am to the sound of squirrels running across the top of my camper. They managed to poke very, very, small holes in the top. Big enough to see some light through, but I'm hoping not big enough to let the rain in (or at least not in any damaging amount). I tried to arrange lodging for the night, but after about a half-dozen calls, I realized I would find nothing. Being that it is nearing the 4th of July, no campgrounds have any openings. That is why I am currently typing about the day's events from the parking lot of the Comfort Inn & Suites in Little Rock, AR, where I will be staying tonight.

After I realized my lodging search was for naught, I showered in a not-so-well designed showering facility at the park. It had one setting (cold), and only ran for 30 seconds at a time before I had to push the button to elicit more water to come forth.

I packed up camp, plugged in my next destination into my GPS, and I was off to Murfreesboro, AR to try my hand at mining for diamonds in the Crater of Diamonds.

I arrived to the "Crater" around 12:45, paid my 15 dollars entrance fee and gear rental fee, and was off to the pit. My dreamy lust for shiny diamonds was obvious in my glinting eyes as I headed into the acres of overturned dirt. No amount of sun or bad luck was going to keep me from staying until closing time (8 pm), or until I got what I came for.

My disposition quickly changed. Or not so quickly depending on how you look at it. By 4 I was dejected and didn't care that my arms were turning pink (even though I applied liberal amounts of sunscreen to them prior to my entrance into the pit). I found a few quartz crystals about the size of an eraser head on a pencil. Each time I was overcome with elation that I had found a diamond, only moments later to realize it was just a worthless piece of quartz. Too many false starts and too much sun convinced me I did not have what it takes to me a diamond miner. I left hot and disappointed, but glad that I tried.

I stopped at a Lowe's on the way to Little Rock to get a dowel rod to use as a makeshift headlight screw. My left headlight was dangling my its wires due to the fact the screw pushing against it had broken off months ago. I had managed just fine with it working intermittently until my dreadful drift through the cemetery the previous night. I was complimented on the crafstmanship of my camper by a handful of bikers riding varying sizes of motorcycles. I would say a gang if it weren't for the fact that they were all between 50 and 60. I just have trouble picturing them as a "gang."

Anyway, my dowel rod idea worked, both of my headlights are in commission now, and I am waiting for 9 am to roll around so I can visit the Clinton Memorial Library and take the $8 audio-guided tour around the facility (thanks to a discount from my newly received LSU ID).

I feel I have sufficiently clued you in to the day's happenings. Good night!

Bitchslapping junebugs and other tales from the road 07/02

After running a few errands around town, I made it on the road about 230ish (or maybe 330ish?). Either way, I was on the road. Oh, there was also a quick stop outside of town at a shitty Taco Bell that didn't even have a working Mountain Dew fountain station!?! So I had to drink some bogus Pepsi instead.

About halfway to my first destination (Millwood State Park), my a/c decided to stop working. It does that sometimes just to see how I'll respond. Sometimes I do so in anger and curse the bastard who made my Volvo so shittily, but this time I just smiled and rolled down the window. After about an hour of cruising in the 108 degree heat of Louisiana, I stuck my hand out of the window to get a little breeze going across my burning forearm from the setting sun.

Low and behold (not sure if that's the actual phrase), a junebug come dashing towards me at its comfortable cruising speed of about 3 miles an hour (I'm guessing). If that had been the only velocity involved in this equation, it would have merely glanced off of my hand in confused stupor, and then continue flying on its merry way. But, since I was going at 60 miles an hour, this junebug pretended my hand was the USS Arizona and it was a Japanese plane and kamikazed right into my hand. Only this time, the USS Arizona didn't go down.

After getting over the initial shock, I brought my hand back inside the car and wiped off the juicy guts of the splattered insect with a cheap Taco Bell napkin. Then, thinking it was only a one in a million chance that would happen again, I stuck my hand back out the window to get that breeze I so desperately desired. (So far, it hasn't happened again).

Next up I needed to make a quick stop at Wal-Mart to get a battery charger and some water. I stopped at the closest one (according to my GPS lady) in Bossier City. Now, I'm not sure if this was the only Wal-Mart in Bossier City (which I'm fairly certain it isn't), but this was by far the BUSIEST Wal-Mart I have ever seen.

I'm sure we're all aware of the large percentage of, I don't know, less cultured people that shop at Wal-Mart. There is a definate 30 percent unsavory population of shoppers at any given time at any Wal-Mart. The one in Bossier City, however, had a much higher rate. Everywhere I looked there were either hardcore rednecks, stereotypically country folk, or ridiculous wiggers. I'd say this particular Wal-Mart had a 98 percent population of "holy shit I can't believe people like that exist" people. Anyway, I got my battery charger and my water and got the heck out of dodge.

My nice GPS lady took me a back way to Millwood State Park that at first brought me to possibly the creepiest cemetary in all of Arkansas. I had to go down a mile of gravel/dirt road that had that whole tree canopy thing going. It was 11:15 at night, both my headlights were out (but my brights worked), and I hadn't seen any sign of civilization in about 2.5 miles. At the end of this road was supposed to be the entrance to the state park. What was there instead were 3 rickety stick-crosses, kept together with twine marking three unseen graves.

I was half expecting Michael Myers to be staring at me when I turned around to back up. If he was there, I never saw him. Anyway, Shelby was nice enough to help me find my way by giving me the number of the State Park. Apparently my GPS had a "rough" approximation for the entrance to the state park, which was only another .1 miles down from the crazy dirt/gravel road it directed me down previously.

I pulled into my reserved spot around 11:45, and all my time and effort into building my camper was justified when I DIDN'T have to set up a tent in the tree-shaded darkness after a long day of driving. I plugged in my a/c, hopped in the back, and fell asleep comfortably once the a/c temp gauge said 70. Ahhh, sweet respite from the harsh day in the ever-loving world of dreams.

Damn the Travel gods! 07/02/09

THE ROAD! I can finally get on the road! 12 days late and a few hundred dollars down, I am finally leaving on the NEW adventures of Belvedere. My camper is all built, all the lights are working, it hasn't fallen apart or randomly exploded (yet...knock on wood), and I've got everything all cleaned up and packed.

For those of you who aren't acquainted with my camper (which I have decided to call Tipperton), it is a homebuilt teardrop camper. I have air conditioning in it that plugs into a wall outlet, and also a top of the line RV vent/fan to keep the air fresh. It looks tiny (because it is), but it's big enough to be a bed on wheels which is about all I needed it to be. It took me about 6 weeks to build and about 800 dollars. Once I figure out how to post pictures on this thing, I will show you all the finished product.

I must have done something to make the travel gods angry because I am 12 days behind schedule already. I was supposed to leave June 20th, right after orientation, but construction delays on my camper prevented me from leaving. That is, until today.

First stop planned right now is called Millwood State Park in Arkansas. There's not really much to do there outside of your average hiking trail and some fishing, it's more of a waypoint towards bigger and badder places. For instance, tomorrow (the 3rd) I will be going to the Crater of Diamonds in Arkansas to try my luck at finding my very own diamond in the rough. Apparently an average of 2 diamonds A DAY are found there. Of course, almost all of them are too small to even cut, but hey, it' still a diamond.

After that I'll probably go pay a visit to ol' Bill Clinton's museum/library thing they have going on in Little Rock followed by a nice stay in Buffalo National Park to kayak down the Buffalo River which apparently has some crazy awesome limestone bluffs all over the place.

So that's the plan for the next few days, I'll chime in and let you know how it's all going! Let the odyssey begin!