Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Too bad I lack a vagina. 07/03

I woke up well rested around 10 am to the sound of squirrels running across the top of my camper. They managed to poke very, very, small holes in the top. Big enough to see some light through, but I'm hoping not big enough to let the rain in (or at least not in any damaging amount). I tried to arrange lodging for the night, but after about a half-dozen calls, I realized I would find nothing. Being that it is nearing the 4th of July, no campgrounds have any openings. That is why I am currently typing about the day's events from the parking lot of the Comfort Inn & Suites in Little Rock, AR, where I will be staying tonight.

After I realized my lodging search was for naught, I showered in a not-so-well designed showering facility at the park. It had one setting (cold), and only ran for 30 seconds at a time before I had to push the button to elicit more water to come forth.

I packed up camp, plugged in my next destination into my GPS, and I was off to Murfreesboro, AR to try my hand at mining for diamonds in the Crater of Diamonds.

I arrived to the "Crater" around 12:45, paid my 15 dollars entrance fee and gear rental fee, and was off to the pit. My dreamy lust for shiny diamonds was obvious in my glinting eyes as I headed into the acres of overturned dirt. No amount of sun or bad luck was going to keep me from staying until closing time (8 pm), or until I got what I came for.

My disposition quickly changed. Or not so quickly depending on how you look at it. By 4 I was dejected and didn't care that my arms were turning pink (even though I applied liberal amounts of sunscreen to them prior to my entrance into the pit). I found a few quartz crystals about the size of an eraser head on a pencil. Each time I was overcome with elation that I had found a diamond, only moments later to realize it was just a worthless piece of quartz. Too many false starts and too much sun convinced me I did not have what it takes to me a diamond miner. I left hot and disappointed, but glad that I tried.

I stopped at a Lowe's on the way to Little Rock to get a dowel rod to use as a makeshift headlight screw. My left headlight was dangling my its wires due to the fact the screw pushing against it had broken off months ago. I had managed just fine with it working intermittently until my dreadful drift through the cemetery the previous night. I was complimented on the crafstmanship of my camper by a handful of bikers riding varying sizes of motorcycles. I would say a gang if it weren't for the fact that they were all between 50 and 60. I just have trouble picturing them as a "gang."

Anyway, my dowel rod idea worked, both of my headlights are in commission now, and I am waiting for 9 am to roll around so I can visit the Clinton Memorial Library and take the $8 audio-guided tour around the facility (thanks to a discount from my newly received LSU ID).

I feel I have sufficiently clued you in to the day's happenings. Good night!